My Vote for McCain and the Derangement of My Friends

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm coming out of the (conservative) closet and am living on one of the most liberal blocks in Denver. My neighbors proudly display their BO lawn signs and Stalinesque posters of the One promoting HOPE. Although most of my neighbors know I'm voting McCain, I've not engaged them politically, because I know it's a lost cause. These are the passionate W-haters who sport ITMFA bumper-stickers and cried when Kerry lost.

Despite our political differences, these people are my friends. With them I celebrate their family milestones: their promotions and pregnancies, their kids' birthdays, first days of school, their kids learning to ride a bike or fly a kite. My husband and I teach them our hobbies -- impromptu guitar lessons by Colfax Husband, painting and piano lessons from me. When they need a break, we take their kids to the movies. I volunteer on behalf of their kids' school. We are a part of the village that's helping raise these kids. We love them dearly. We love their parents.

For the last few years, we've had a house party on Halloween. Instead of sitting alone in our homes doling out the candy, we've banded together on one neighbor's porch to allow one stop candy delivery and hang time for the adults. This Halloween was no exception. After the party wore down, the last group of neighbors retired to our house because we have no kids and the best toys. The boys retreated to the basement to jam on the bass, guitar and drums, while the three ladies enjoyed the beautiful weather and some wine. For the purpose of storytelling, we'll call my fellow neighbors Angie and Maggie.

That's when it all went wrong. Somehow we ended up on the subject of politics. Angie demanded to know why I was voting for McCain. When my usual calm recitation of McCain's strengths was too much to bear, she demanded to know what I thought of Sarah P. I calmly repeated my usual talking points (I absolutely love her and am inspired by her, her natural gas pipeline negotiations, her veto of the bill denying gay partner benefits, etc). This enraged my friend. My friend whose children I have loved like my own nephews.

She railed into me, screaming at the top of her lungs, that my choice of candidate meant that I wanted her children to die. I wish I was joking. She screamed (eventually waking another neighbor from a dead sleep) that a vote for McCain is a vote for war and that if I vote for him I'm affirming that I want her boys to die. That because boys still must sign the selective service agreement that McCain would draft her 9 and 7 year-old boys and kill them in a war. It was brutal and devastating. Were I to experience this again, I would have told her to leave my property, but I was too shocked and crushed that she could think such a thing of McCain or me. I have to admit, I just sat there, crying, and trying to calmly argue my remaining points (e.g., we haven't had a draft since the 70s). When all was said and done, I went inside, cried some more and went to bed. When I got up the next morning, I was still heartbroken and crushed.

I think on some level, I had always feared being labeled some sort of extremist freak were I to ever publicly advocate for my conservative values...that's the kind of neighborhood I live in. During the melee on Friday night, I repeatedly said, this is why I've lied to you all these years about my real views, because I knew you'd hate me for them. People, I didn't confess to being a homophobic, racist, elderly-woman killing psychopath. I "confessed" to being a believer in free markets, limited government, a strong military --- including support for victory in Iraq and Afghanistan -- and having someone who loves America elected as President.

Something has changed in America. We can no longer politely and passionately advocate for our preferred vision of American government without engaging in the most destructive of attacks. Stealing someone's lawn signs or creating an environment where our neighbors are afraid to hang a sign because they don't want their property vandalized, are symptoms of our lack of respect for each other and our inability to communicate differing viewpoints without trying to demonize each other. Sometimes I think I'm looking forward to Wednesday morning not just to celebrate McCain's win, but because it will mean that this election is finally over.

Two positive signs before I end the post. First, Angie came to me first thing in the morning to apologize most sincerely for her outrageous behavior. I believe she's sorry for the things she said. But I also believe she meant them. She just didn't mean to say them to me.

Second, I have hope for bipartisanship in the future, led by Hillary Clinton of all people. If the boyz at Hillbuzz are any indication, there are still Democrats who believe in America first and party second. They've been a beacon of hope for me in recent weeks. If you haven't read them yet, please do. Hillbuzz

Thanks.
ColfaxGirl